Lately I have been thinking how much decision-making I’ll have to make in the next coming months. Being as indecisive as I am, there is nothing worse than given multiple options in life. Gahhhhhh. It is stressful. I can literally make myself sick by simply comparing every option and imagining every possible scenario of possible consequences. Tracking?
Let me start by describing how bad my indecisiveness is. When choosing what brand of shampoo and conditioner to buy, I literally read every description on its back to see which will fit my needs the most. Same goes for everything else (except for the produce; which is easily chosen based on simple calculation of the most quantity by the least price).
The husband isn’t helping much either; since he is pretty much willing to support me no matter what. In short, it is my call. Most of my life, I have been surrounded with strong-willed women. I think this is why I have this notion that the woman in the family is the real foundation of the family. The women are the ultimate decision makers whereas the husbands are usually there to work around it (of course, the case is different for most guys that I am surrounded with— egotistic army guys alert!!! I can already hear the antipathy).
But if you’ll think about it, women plan everything. The guys are just there during the execution. This theory has been proven multiple times by different couples….and it has rooted since the day we said “YES!” As soon as engaged, men pretty much give women the power to control things. **wink** Guys, think back how much of your opinion were considered for the wedding? What about the house color? Kind of car? What school to send the kid? What groceries to buy? What’s for dinner? Etc…. Just think!! Think hard!!!!
Anyway let me revert to my original purpose for this blog. I am not trying to be a feminist-zealot and not even trying to instigate a fight so let me just list my numerous dilemma.
1. To reenlist or not to reenlist? That is the question!
Jason and I are really grateful for the Army for so many things it has given us. I don’t think it is necessary to list the benefits but if you are curious, you may visit www.goarmy.com. Anyway, I, for one, is thankful for it has helped me improve myself. Besides being 20-pounds lighter, the Army has opened my eyes into so many personalities that were once unfathomable to me; making me more accepting of others and as the army will call it, resilient. However, it has its cons too. Yes, I am glad that I have become a stronger individual but I won’t deny that I often feel like I was transformed into an evil being. What happened to the sensitive, sweet, nurturing, loving, kind, timid, and forgiving person I used to know. Some days I think back on the things I say and do, and I realize that I have become a stranger to myself; hence, an unknown to my husband. The Army has really put our relationship through a lot of challenges and I am glad we have surpassed them all. But, how long am I really willing to put my family through this unpredictable journey.
After assessing the pros and cons, I am gearing towards the former. Yes, I am willing to give it another try. Maybe it will be sweeter the second time around.
2. Fayette-nam or Hunts-vegas?!?!
I know what you’re thinking. WTH!?! Why stay in Fayetteville? Why go back home? Why not pick Japan or Germany or Italy or Korea or Alaska or Hawaii? One word. JASON! Since day 1, Jason has always been supported. He has always compromised and changed his decision in order to make me happy. Therefore, it is my turn to be more considerate of my husband’s happiness. Although Jason hates Fayetteville, the city has given him nothing but love. His career is here. I have never seen him so happy with his job. He is very enthusiastic about it plus I can really tell how much it has boosted his confidence. Huntsville, on the other hand, is another choice because he wants Jaden to experience what he had experienced growing up. He feels guilty about taking Jaden away from everybody else so he feels the need of sending him back home. Plus, there are people that we know wouldn’t be with us any longer and we just want to create more memories with them:)
My decision on this one is still questionable. I am also torn whether to go to UAH or UNC for my BSN!
*************to be continued… going to look at a potential home*****************